Why You Shouldn't Sleep With Your Husband Every Night

I know this post is nothing like what we normally share here at The Taylor House, but one of our fabulous contributors, Jennifer, wrote this piece.  She poured her heart into this article and I wanted to share it with everyone!

...just because you read it somewhere on the internet.

Recently I read a blog post making it's way -quickly- around social media that was titled something along the lines of- 5 Reasons to Sleep with Your Husband Every Night. I read it and let it sink in for about a week. Then, randomly, it hit me... why? I not only don't agree, but I can't agree. And I also think that I am not alone on this one.

Now, don't get all worked up with the fact that some lady on the internet just said wives don't need to have sex with their husbands every night, and definitely don't get me misunderstood.  I enjoy sex with my spouse! Hey, if I didn't, then I wouldn't have kids 🙂 I also believe that having sex will relief stress, that relationships need to have intimacy daily, and that keeping that sexual being inside alive will define us more than just mothers.  I just happen to think we need to be teaching couples who are in the grind of raising young children the truth about life and how it can certainly throw a curveball into our sex lives.

Life can get extremely busy and stressful, we all know this. Most nights, as a stay at home mom to two boys under the age of 5, I just want nothing more than to sink into my sheets and fall fast asleep. Some nights I do just that! Some nights I take care of my mind and body by doing a little yoga, and some nights I take care of my husband (ya catch my drift there?). What I am trying to say is that life is about balance.

Forgetting the hustle of the world or our duties as mothers and falling into the sheets in the blink of an eye isn't easy for most women. Our minds are busy, and life can be tiring in the beginning years of starting a family and raising babies. I know my husband questions if my mind ever takes a moment to break from all the planning and what-nots it takes to be a modern day mother.

So when you read somewhere that you need to be catering to your man's sexual needs every night because of [blah blah blah] does it make you think, "You're SO right! Making him happy and less stressed will make me happy and less stressed!"?

For me, it doesn't always work that way. And, trying to convince myself of this may set my relationship up for failure.  It may even breed feelings of shame and resentment...

There's no need to make us feel ashamed-- like we are wrong for being tired or not in the mood. We are far from wrong, we are human.  We are one human, raising several little humans that don't always behave. Adding that kind of stress to an event that is supposed to be sexy and relief stress is gratuitous. And it may cause some women to build up a resentment to something that is so personal.

So, I don't believe we should ignore our own feelings or lack of energy to ensure that our man has had his moment of satisfaction on a nightly basis because... it's kind of  turning us into sex robots, don't ya think? It is taking the beauty out of making love and turning it into an everyday mundane task to be done. (Show of hands for people who enjoy the mundane!)  It's making this personal moment feel not-so personal and intimate anymore.

I guess all in all, if anyone is caring to hear what this stay at home mom has to say, it would be this:

Women, remember that our minds are allowed to be complex. Our obligation to ourselves is to learn as we grow, how to balance the life we live and manage our minds to help us to better be able to function in the world. For ourselves, our husbands, and our sex life!!

Through our hormonal teen years, our child raising years, and so on balance is key to making things work. We need to be passing down words of wisdom that give women the tools it takes to keep up with the world around 'em, and steady our minds and moods while still allowing room for being human. Not teaching them to give "it" to their man in spite of their own feelings -- or because doing so will make him feel like a real man. Love is something to be cherished. Yes, it can be random and fun. It can last a long time or be just a quickie while the kids are napping.  Whichever you prefer, just make it something that is about both you and your spouse.

Balancing love, rest, play and work... it's a task that can be obtained when a woman is given the proper tools to shine!

Be sure to check out more from Jennifer over at her website, Allergy Free Foodie!